The Bison Burger Done Rodeo Style
On the windy stretch of Hyperion Blvd right before Trader Joes is a tiny hamburger shack called the Fix. Whoever put it there chose the location wisely. It’s right next to a gym. There is something remarkably satisfying about eating a burger and fries while knowing that on the other side of the wall there is a room full of sweaty joggers, frantically trying to keep up with their treadmills. Also I cannot imagine a more inviting carrot than promising yourself a burger if you go to the gym.
The Fix is not a glamorous spot. You order at the counter and fight for a seat in the tiny dining room. But what it lacks in style it more than makes up for in variety. They have six types of burger, with six different styles you can have it (not including original), plus nine types of cheese, six types of fixings, and five sauces. All of these options can be really overwhelming. I spent half an hour planning out my strategy. Here are the results.
The Wild Boar Burger Done Traditionally
The Wild Boar Burger done with standard toppings (mayonnaise, tomato, lettuce, and onions). They had wild boar. How could I turn that down? I imagined the chef had gone out with a bow and arrow and hunted the creature down himself. How macho would that be? Wild boar also goes down as the animal I would least like to fight on this list. Those things are lethal. Needless to say, I anticipated this burger to be infused with naturally gamey deliciousness. As it turns out, it was infused with…nothing much. That’s right. The boar tasted pretty much like nothing. It was just kinda mildly meaty. If you had told me it was made of tofu, I might have believed you.
Deliciousness Ranking: 3/10
Molly’s Chances of Winning Against this Creature in a Fight: 2/10
The Bison Burger Done Rodeo Style
The second choice was also a clear one. The Buffalo burger done Rodeo style, which in this case meant with BBQ sauce, onion rings, cheddar cheese and mayonnaise. What those ingredients have to do with rodeos, I’m not sure, but you could count the things I know about the rodeo on one hand. The burger was a little salty, but very juice and the contrast of the salty bison and sweet BBQ sauce was really lovely. Add some unnecessary cheddar cheese and fried onion rings and you’ve got yourself a good time. The mayo was a mystery to me. You couldn’t taste it over the BBQ sauce.
Deliciousness Ranking: 7/10
Molly’s Chances of Winning Against this Creature in a Fight: 1/10
The Turkey Pilgrim Burger
The third burger that caught my eye was the Pilgrim Burger. Considering they founded our nation (Yeah okay, debatable) there aren’t many foods that we name after them. In fact I can only think of Pilgrim’s Spiced Wine. This burger was clearly created after the chef’s favorite holiday, Thanksgiving. What makes a Pilgrim burger different from a regular burger? Cranberry relish and a turkey patty. That’s it. I was a little disappointed there were no sweet potato fries shoved in there or stuffing or gravy, but hey, what can you do. And you know what? It was delicious. They’ve really got that turkey patty down. It was hearty and flavorful and played really nicely against the cranberry relish that came dripping down my hands like a crimson tide. (That doesn’t sound good, does it? It was delicious. I swear it.)
Deliciousness Ranking: 8/10
Molly’s Chances of Winning Against this Creature in a Fight: 9/10
The Beef Burger Done Silver Lake Style
The last burger I tried was their standard beef patty done Silver Lake style, because when in Rome right? Turns out Silver Lake style means lettuce, onions, tomato, cheddar cheese, bacon, and thousand island dressing. Not what I would have pegged as distinctly Silver Lake, but one bite made me understand why they named it that. They didn’t name the burger after their neighborhood. They named their burger after their love of their neighborhood. As bacon cheeseburgers go, this one was pretty damn delicious. Not complicated or groundbreaking, but quite good. The bacon was crispy and complimented the sweetness of the thousand island dressing blended perfectly into the ground beef. It was hands down the winner.
Deliciousness Ranking: 9/10
Molly’s Chances of Winning Against this Creature in a Fight: 5/10
The fries were disappointing.
Now, I didn’t manage to eat all the burgers. There are still three other styles I didn’t get to, but I look forward to going back and having another swing at it. One thing I have learned, though, for all their exotic burger options, the one thing The Fix does best is beef.
PS. According to their twitter, they have an Ostrich burger. They no longer do. I’m a little bummed about that.
PPS. The fries and the garlic fries were both bummers. Both were mealy. Next time I’m going onion rings.
PPS. Their chocolate peanut butter milkshakes are awesome. That being said, what chocolate peanut butter milkshakes are not?