I’m gonna try and write this, but man oh man friends it’s been a hard week. As we speak there’s a full on manhunt in the city of Boston for a Chechen man who may or may not have set the bombs at the Boston marathon. His brother was shot last night. There were explosives being thrown out of vehicles, a shootout, and their relatives have been on the radio all morning denouncing their nephews. A cop at MIT was shot and killed. Young men who had nothing to do with the bombings have been targeted because of irresponsible reporting and Reddit. My cousins are under lockdown in their apartments. All of this has happened in less than 24 hours. It’s a lot to process. I probably should have written this review last week when my heart was not sick with worry. But I didn’t. So bear with me.
In Los Angeles, the police have been blowing up every suspicious package in sight. CicLAvia is going forward as planned on Sunday as is Coachella, but everyone is on edge. Seems like a good a time as any to talk about burgers because after this week we ALL need one. (With fries, extra cheese, bacon, and a spiked chocolate malt.)
Last week I headed to Comme Ca, a fancy French brasserie in West Hollywood. I knew this was going to be one of the big ones. It’s a burger that is named dropped in most of the discussions I have with strangers about my favorite burger. It usually goes like this, “Yes, but have you tried the Comme Ca burger? OH you HAVEN’T?” *purses lips* “I see…” It’s one of those burgers that completely destroys your burger Los Angeles aficionado status when people find out you haven’t had it.
Comme Ca is one of those odd places that are supposed to make you feel at home and fails to do so. They have lovely wooden floors, chalkboard walls with specials written on them, framed French themed sketches on the walls, exceptionally handsome waiters in pressed Ben Sherman checked shirts, low lighting, and white tablecloths. It’s supposed to feel like a bistro in Paris, but ends up feeling overdone. It’s a little too exact. It reminds me of a brand pair of jeans that you put on for the first time. It’s a wonderful color and fits you well, but still smells foreign and is a bit stiff. It hasn’t formed to your body yet. That’s how Comme Ca feels, not lived in yet.
The menu had a variety of gorgeous things from house cured salmon gravlax to roasted beef marrow and oxtail jam with toast, but I was there on a mission. Their burger has its own little section on the menu with a cow next to it (in case you were confused about what was in it?) It’s listed as a special blend of certified Angus beef, Vermont cheddar, and pomme frites. When it arrives however, the first thing you’ll notice about it is the giant scoop of coleslaw on top of it. Why it’s not mentioned in the description is beyond me. It’s like describing Charlie Chaplin without mentioning his mustache. It’s right there, people. It is a wonderful sloppy mess. The creamy coleslaw has a satisfying crunch that counters the juicy beef patty draped in cheese in the middle. It’s very hard to hold on to.
But is it worth its fame? No. Why? Because it’s eighteen freaking dollars. That’s right. Eighteen. A burger that costs that much should throw you into ecstasies. After consuming such a burger, you should be weeping with joy. It should make you feel that if you keeled over and expired afterwards, you could die happy. The Comme Ca burger is a very good burger, but the price is absolutely unreasonable. I don’t care how “special” their Angus beef blend is. At the end of the day it’s just a burger.